Friday, April 10, 2009

Decisions, Decisions...

To everyone who sent me words of encouragement and virtual hugs during my recent slump, I have two words for you: THANK YOU. I mean it. Muah! It was just what I needed. I'm doing much better this week, and it's a good thing too, because I can't afford to crash and burn right now. I have entirely too much to do.

Here's the deal: I live in Florida, where, in case you've been living under a rock, the housing and job markets have been utterly demolished. To make matters worse, the cost of living here is obscenely high, particularly in our neck of the woods. Don't get me wrong: I love Florida. Warm weather all year round, plentiful sandy beaches and easy access to Disney World--what's not to like? Before the country fell into a financial abyss of awfulness, it was a great place to live. Of course, now...well, now it's not so hot (pardon the pun).

So, it looks like my hubby and I have some decisions to make. We're quite blessed in the sense that we're not tied to a home right now, so we can feasibly move as early as this summer. Texas is the most obvious choice, since it's where most of our family is and it's one of the few states that has managed to thrive in this recession. Another major plus? Our son is young enough to make a seamless transition. The question is, should we make that step? Can we afford it? Will we be able to find jobs, a new place to live and get everything packed in time? These are the questions that have been spinning through my head for the last few weeks.

The issue is coming to a head for us now because we're rapidly reaching a point of no return. We have a very small window of time to make this move happen, otherwise we'll be stuck where we are for at least another year. I guess that's my problem. It seems like everything would have to happen so fast. I don't do fast changes well, at least not like this. I was raised by two meticulous planners, folks who needed a week's notice whenever I wanted to have a play date in elementary school. Like them, I like months and months to get my ducks in a row before a decision like this, but it looks more like I've got weeks. It feels like days. And that freaks me out.

My husband will be meeting with his boss on Monday to request that he be transferred to Texas, if that's what we decide to do. We've given ourselves the weekend to commit one way or the other. And what a long, prayer-filled weekend it will be--even more than usual for Easter.

Everything in my gut is pointing me toward this move. I really don't think we can afford to live here another year. But still. Change is hard, especially when it flies in your face like a spaceship jumping to warp speed (did I mention my parents were also Trekkies?). I suppose that's what separates the kiddos from the adults in society. Grownups make the hard choices so the munchkins don't have to, and apparently I'm a grownup--or so says my driver's license. But I must confess I don't feel too grownupish today.

What do you think? Am I overanalyzing everything? What would you do, given what you know about my situation? How do you go about making major, life-altering decisions in your family?


  1. Have you thought about where in Texas, and have you been to that area already? If you have, and you seem to like it there, then you should go for it!

  2. Neil,
    Yes, we've pinpointed the city. My husband and I actually met there, and our family and friends still live there. It really is home for us. Thanks for the reassurance! I think I'm just nervous :)

  3. What Neil said. :) Parts of Texas are very insular, difficult to become involved with - but if you're looking at a transfer situation, I'm betting you're going to a large city (maybe even mine *dances*)and housing is going for good rates here, schools can be quite good, there are lots of pluses. And being closer to family makes a lot of difference.

    Making big decisions fast, well--you're not really making it that fast, are you? It sounds like you've been accumulating info for a long time. I think this is something that, if you want it to happen, you can make it happen in a very short time. Probably some part of you has been planning it, just in case, for a while. :)

  4. Go with your gut, changes that seem scary at first are often then ones that end up being the best. Good luck and we'll be here to give you support and *hugs* along the way :)You can handle it!

  5. Hello my dear! I'm passing out awards!

  6. fluffycat,
    You're right, it is a decent-sized city for all of those factors you mentioned, so it would meet all our needs well.

    You made an excellent point about how this isn't really a rushed decision. I hadn't thought of that way before, but it's true that I've been considering this possibility and planning for awhile on a subconscious level. You're quite perceptive, I must say, hehe! Thanks for the insight!

  7. Jenn,
    Aww, thanks hun! You're awesome, and your support really does mean a lot. I think what scares me most about this decision is my fear of the unknown. I agree with you; once we move, I'm sure I'll be fine. Thanks for the hugs :)

  8. Aerin,
    Eeek! Thank you so much! I'm SO excited! *doing happy dance*

    Congrats to you on receiving the award, too! You totally deserve it :)

  9. Seems like you've made a pretty thorough pros & cons list and already are leaning toward the move. If the transfer gets approved, that would seal the deal for me...and I detest changes too. Prayers for your decision today and happy Easter!

  10. What Angie said -- but, mostly I want to just say I hope it all works out in the best possible way! I have family in Texas - most of them are there, and I miss them. WHen I recently visited, Texas was booming! It's its own planet sometimes, it seems. Good luck to you and your family!

  11. Changes are so rough, but it seems like your "gut" is already leaning you in a certain direction. Challenges and specifics aside, if you really feel in your heart that a move is on the horizon, and a step that your family needs to take, then I'd say follow that leading. Sit down, set aside the pros and cons (as much as you can anyway), and pray that you'll be led to the right choice. However it works out, stay strong as a family and you'll make it through. Good luck to your family.

  12. Oh good luck! And I'm in the EXACT same position: I want to make a change, and if I am to make a change, it must happen NOW or wait for an entire year. I feel like I'm not making enough to warrant continuing as I am, but... the change is full of risks, too.

    So it's a toughie, for sure! Good luck!

  13. For me,... if I had to be weigh things, I would always move closer to family and take the transfer if my husband could swing it! I wouldn't look back, and I would be thankful I could return to where home feels the most abundant. Life is scary at times, but if you can keep yourself surrounded by family -- the hardest times you go through, do not feel as heavy as they would be, if family was near.

  14. Go with your gut, hon. Instinct is more accurate than deep thought sometimes.

  15. I think you should also listen to what your gut (and God) is telling you. It sounds like this would be a positive move for everyone involved - being closer to your family is always a bonus, and you never know what might happen for you in this new place. I would look at it as an adventure! God will provide. :-)

  16. I've moved so many times...I don't even know how many...if you've got love, you'll be fine. My favorite place is always where I am at the time, but I've got to tell you, I'm near family now and it is so with the kiddos, YAY!

    Can't wait to hear what you decided!

  17. Angie - Thanks for the advice. I think the transfer will seal the deal for me, too. My Easter was great--hope yours was as well, my dear!

    Kathryn - Aww, thanks a bunch for the well wishes! I miss Texas terribly, and you're right, it really is its own planet in the best possible way. That's why I love it ;)

    Cindy - Thank you for such wise words. I've prayed about this quite a bit already, but I think I was looking for confirmation from all of you to be sure it was the right decision. Looks like it is!

    Spy - Thanks, hun! I feel your pain. There are so many things to consider with these types of decisions, aren't there? It can be overwhelming at times. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide. I know you'll make the right choice for you and your family :)

    Anon 12:42 - It's true, family is so very important. That's what keeps me coming back to this move. It's so hard to be without them, and I really want my son to grow up with extended family nearby.

    Lori - Good point. I tend to overthink things and make them more complicated than they are. That's why it's nice to get a different perspective from you and the other blog readers. Thanks for that!

    Melissa - You're so right! No matter what happens, I know God will always provide, and that's a true source of comfort.

    Anita - Oh, that's right! I forgot that you're a military spouse. My husband's parents were both in the military, so he's used to moving as well. Goodness, I don't know how you do it. I'm sure it takes a lot of strength and flexibility, and I really admire that.