Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Welcome to Procrastinators Anonymous

ME: "Hi, my name is L.C. Gant, and I'm a procrastinator."

YOU: "Hi, L.C."

Welcome to the first meeting of Procrastinators Anonymous, a multi-step program that uses group therapy to give less-than-motivated individuals (particularly writers) a good kick in the pants to get them back to work. Take a seat. Relax. Have some chips and dip. We're gonna be here awhile.

So, why are you here? What mindless task stole your writing time today? Did you spend countless hours friending people on your favorite social networking site? How about updating web content that's already been updated five dozen times today? Or, are you more like me, tempted to read everyone and their grandmother's blogs at the expense of your own?

Hmmm... I hear crickets. Did I hit a nerve? (*wince*) Sorry about that. Perhaps I came on a little strong.

Very well. I'll start. I'm here because recently my characters sat me down for an intervention. "We can't go on living this way," they cried. "You brought us to life, carefully crafting our hopes, dreams and fears. You were the one who gave each of us a problem to solve, a world to save, a nemesis to defeat. And then, when we needed you most, you always found something more important to do. You've left our stories unfinished for months, even years at a time, and all because you were too afraid to dig deep enough into your psyche to write the hard stuff. The big, messy, confrontational, climatic scenes. For one reason or another, you just didn't want to go there.

"That, dear writer, is unacceptable," they told me. "Our stories need to end, or come to some sort of resolution at the very least. You can't leave us hanging in the cosmos forever."

They threatened to walk out on me, to kidnap my Muse and ride off into the sunset, leaving me weeping and gnashing my teeth. I promised them I would call a meeting and find others like me. I know you're out there. I can't be the only one who has half a dozen unfinished novels lying around.

And that's why I'm here. I have a problem and I need help. I can't seem to give my novels (and the characters they contain) the attention they deserve. I have commitment issues, and now my characters have abandonment issues. I want to change. I want to start the healing.

Now, who else wants to share?


  1. "...tempted to read everyone and their grandmother's blogs at the expense of your own?"

    Hi, I'm Angie, and I'm a blogaholic. :)

    Maybe a complete change of atmosphere would help? With a goal of revising/editing my huge ms this MONTH, I need to get my bahonkus moving too. Kick mine and I'll kick yours. We can do it!

  2. Hey, Angie! Sounds like a plan. Nothing like a little encouragement/harassment from a fellow writer to get you moving on your WIP. Let's do it! I need all the help I can get.

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